The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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