Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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