Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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