he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
