I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize