I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
