You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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