Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.