i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You took a bar mat shot.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
pray to the hookup gods