Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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