R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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