Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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