It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
