I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
