I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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