Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
