She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
