even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
