Umm I'm too high to move.
i would punch a child for taco bell
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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