someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
