i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
