Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
