i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
