you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
