She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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