your room smells of hookers.
And success
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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