I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
