So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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