hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
