my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
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i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
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Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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