goodnight i made you a song goodbye
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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