your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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