I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
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