I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
