By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
