ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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