it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
