There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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