I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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