I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
