i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i think i have herpe
just one?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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