I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
is that a dick in a sweater?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
