dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
