it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
