I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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