Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
