I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize