I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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