sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
