once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
