iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
