i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
