Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
