Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
