I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
