I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i was born a porn star she said
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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