They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
