I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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